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Tips for Expectant Fathers, From An Expectant Father How To Work The Delivery Room Door Like A Bouncer At “Club Push”

Amid the ultrasound scans, bizarre food cravings and baby shower gifts is often a confused and overwhelmed expectant dad. What better way to prepare men for impending fatherhood than by giving them a step-by-step guide with advice, tips and stories ranging from the positive pregnancy test to the delivery room?

Dad’s Pregnant Too! is packed with more than 100 tips for soon-to-be-dads and here are a few:

Tip #15 THE IN-AWE EXPECTANT FATHER: Words Can’t Describe It (But I’ll Try)

THE TIP: It’s a feeling like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

THE STORY: Seeing the baby come out of my wife was surreal and mind-numbing. The image was too much for me to comprehend—it was sensory overload. It wasn’t until a few hours after the birth, when everyone had been taken care of, that I had a chance to hold my daughter. My wife was sleeping, and we were alone. That’s when the switch was flipped. It was a feeling I had never experienced before. I was awestruck by the pregnancy, by the birth, and by the delivery. But the love a father feels for his child blew me away. It’s a feeling that never goes away. —Me, daughter 22 months, 21 weeks pregnant

We had a C-section, and I got to spend time with Jack before Emily did; it’s not how I wished it. He opened his eyes and he looked at me, and I said, “Hi Jack.” And he looked at me like he knew that was his name. It was the most magical moment. —Jeff (son 9 months)

I thought of including a blank page for this tip because there are no words to describe the feeling of going through the expectant father experience. But a book with blank pages isn’t a good book. So, here’s my best attempt.

Being an expectant father will leave you in awe. It will excite, exhaust, intimidate, embarrass, intrigue, surprise, scare, shock, and delight you all at once. The adventure will stir untapped emotions. It will leave you feeling something you’ve never felt or experienced before.

It’s as if there’s something programmed into our DNA that’s activated during this process. And when the switch is flipped and it happens, the world will change forever. It’s an emotional state so powerful and all-consuming that there are no words for it.

Don’t worry about not feeling it right away. It will happen, but when it happens will vary. It could be immediately after the birth, or an hour, a day, a week, or a few months later—but it will happen. It’s not something you need to force. No matter the heaviness or happiness of the moments leading up to the birth, it will all be worth it. The adrenaline rush of fatherhood is better than any drug—once the initial surge

It’s like a Darwinian switch flipped in my brain. I went from reluctant father to head-over-heels committed dad in a heartbeat. —Eric (daughter 15 months)

I was in awe when I saw the ultrasound of our baby and the heartbeat—that is when I knew it was for real. —Kevin (18 weeks pregnant) subsides, the feeling lingers forever. It’s what bonds us to the baby.

From conception to coming home, the whole journey is exhilarating, exhausting, and awe-inspiring. It’s something you’ll probably want to do again and again. And while you might in fact do it again and again, savor the first time—the first is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Enjoy the adventure ahead.

THE BOTTOM LINE: You won’t believe what you see, hear, and feel.

Tip #54 THE PUSH/PREGNANCY PRESENT: A Little Something to Ease Her Pain

THE TIP: It doesn’t have to be diamonds…

THE STORY: The day I turned 20 weeks pregnant I got home after a long day and found a package and card on the table with “mommy” written on it. It was a card from my hubby and baby celebrating the fact that we are halfway through the pregnancy. The present was a wooden Willow Tree figurine called “Cherish,” which is a pregnant mommy holding her tummy. Then, yesterday, out of nowhere, Daddy and baby sent me a cookie bouquet (my favorite!)—six beautiful cookies celebrating that “It’s a girl!” One of the cookies had Elizabeth’s nickname on it, Ellie. I pretty much have the most amazing husband ever!  —Valerie, daughter 1 month

A Push Present is a gift given to your partner following the birth. The idea of buying a new mom a special gift once she pushes the baby out isn’t just made up by her. It has roots. In Europe, it’s customary for women to get a gift following the birth of a child. In England, men are expected to adorn women with a beautiful ring. In India, mothers get gold and jewels for the birth. In the United States, jewelers and women who want jewelry are turning this into a new giftgiving tradition. Some guys aren’t into the idea of a push present. It’s not that these guys are cheap (although some might be). They say there is no greater gift than the gift of having a healthy new child, and a material thing like jewelry almost minimizes the magnitude of the event. The baby is the ultimate “push present.” So, if you share this sentiment, there’s nothing wrong with calling the gift something else. How about just calling it her first Mother’s Day present and picking it out after the baby is born? Call it a gift from the baby and make the baby pay you back when she’s old enough to work.

Whatever you subscribe to, I have a hard time finding anything wrong with getting someone you love a gift that’s associated with such a special event. That said, if you have a philosophical issue with the push present, explain this to your partner—just in case all her friends give her gifts, there won’t be room for any misinterpretation.

If only my man had known how painful it is to push a baby out of your vagina! He may have given me a push present!  —Carin (mother of one)

I got a “pushing present”/thirtieth birthday gift. I helped pick it out—a beautiful diamond necklace —Heidi (mother of one, pregnant with #2) The best gift a man can get his wife? SLEEP!!! —Misti (daughter 2 years)

PUSH PRESENTS UNDER $100:

• Baby charm necklaces or bracelets

• Personalized sterling silver birth necklace

• Engraved picture frame with a picture of her and her pregnant belly

• Necklace, bracelet, or earrings with the baby’s birthstone

• Sleep

ENAMEL ENGRAVED BABY SHOE CHARMS: These range from the low hundreds to thousand of dollars. Do an online search for “enamel baby shoes” and you’ll get a good sense of what I’m talking about. If you happen to buy online, make sure to read the return policy. She might love the idea, but not the gift.

ENGRAVED GIFTS: If you’re buying something expensive but are not quite sure if she’ll love it, wait until she sees it, and then engrave it. When you give it to her, tell her you wanted to wait for the birth so you could engrave the date. Once you engrave it there is typically no returning it.

A way to economize is to combine the push present with some other gift-giving occasion. It gives a “big gift” much more meaning. You can make it a surprise, or plan it as a couple’s project during the last trimester. Keep in mind that shopping for jewelry allows you to say and do things you can’t usually say or do. She might be too happy and distracted to be pissed off with you. When it comes to how much to spend—you can spend less than $100 or more than $1,000. Take baby bootie charms for example (charms are little pendants attached to a necklace or bracelet—think Monopoly pieces).

Some charms cost under a hundred dollars; other charms may cost you in the thousands. One of the coolest things I’ve seen are little silver coin-like disks that have the baby’s name engraved on them. The charms attach to a necklace/ bracelet, and you can add more charms as you have more kids. If you’re on a tight budget, go to a bead store with her and make something together. You can also find birthstones that are extremely reasonable. If you’re not sure what to get, call a maternity store and ask for advice from the manager or owner. (They might even sell something that will work.)

By: Harlan Cohen:  Harlan is a bestselling author, syndicated advice columnist, speaker and singer/songwriter.  He is an expectant father and new dad. For more information, visit: dadspregnant.com

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I chose camp.

As much as I’ve wrung my hands over that choice, I don’t regret it one bit. Camp made me. How else can I explain the fact that I remember almost every word to our Color War theme songs over twenty five years later?

Camp is one of the things that I’ve struggled with as a parent, particularly one on the west coast. Going off to camp was a common rite of passage back east where I grew up. Everyone came back to school with tales of bunk raids and mammoth mosquito bites. But here in Cali all the overnight camps I’ve investigated seem so specialized. They seem focused on a skill or a talent or cementing a religious belief… So much so that I’ve even investigated sending my kids back to my own Catskills stomping grounds just so they too can experience that bonfires burning, crickets chirping, lungful of sunshine summer camp feeling that was so much a part of my youth.

But man, it’s expensive to fly kids back east for summer camp. Particularly when they need braces!

This is just one reason I’m thrilled to have discovered Catalina Island Camps.

Let me tell you about Catalina. I’m not sure if time slowed down gracefully in the early 80s there. Or if there is just a different drumbeat. But when I go to Catalina, it’s like the world makes sense again to my east coast grown, old-fashioned vacation loving self.

You don’t have to kick the kids outside and force them to play on Catalina. If anything, you have to beg them to come inside.

People spend their days hiking, swimming and sailing on Catalina. They ride bikes and they watch stars. The kind in the sky. They talk to each other. They always have sand stuck somewhere, even after a shower. But that’s ok. It’s better than ok. It’s exactly what I’d wish for my 7 year old nature boy, as he turns 8. I wish for him to put down the books and computer games and be a kid, be a BOY, at one with sea and island.

It’s also what I’d wish for my daughter as she teeters on the cusp of teenagerdom. Spend one last summer being a girl. Get freckles on her shoulders even though she uses sunscreen, act silly and forget about brands of backpacks. I’d like her to spend this last summer of her childhood as far from the mall as humanly possible. I wonder if it’s possible to get a doctor to write a prescription for that?

Childhood is brief. Mine was, and it’s poignant to realize that my own kid’s will be too.

I’m sure that spy camp and computer game programming camp and commercial acting camps (all of which are popular back here on the “mainland”) are heaps of fun. But they aren’t worth growing up with slightly crooked teeth over.

But This… This is a camp. Shhh… It’s so awesome I think it might be even better than my own Adirondack experience. The Catskills have a shocking lack of snorkeling.

Browsing through Catalina Island Camp’s website I think I may have discovered a time portal. Or an intention portal. Could that be a thing? Finally, here’s a camp that could mean something to my kids when they grow up. They might even sign up for the Facebook page and find their old friends in 25 years, like I did. Note: My old friends remember the Color War songs too. They too suffer from dirty looks from spouses when they sing Oh ho ho… let’s Go Seminole! to the chorus of “China Grove”.

The photos and videos of the activities at Catalina Camps bring back so many memories for me. Kayaking, Sailing, Arts and Crafts and Ropes courses are just a few of the activities that I loved then & know now that my kids would love too.

I’ve shared a few of my old camp photos here. What are your favorite memories from camp? Do you send your kids to sleepaway summer camp?

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This is a great way to try some new lenses, and you can’t beat free!

Just click to go to the company website, then click any of the banners with the Air Optix Night and Day Aqua Lenses free offer information.

Don’t wait though, this freebie may end at any time.

Find more deals at MomsWhoSave.com.

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Celebrating Grandparents Day (Anyday).  One of the most amazing gifts I ever received from anyone was a cassette tape. It wasn’t just any cassette tape, it was of a conversation that my aunt (who gave the gift) had with my great-grandmother. The conversation didn’t reveal any family secrets or great tragedies. It was a simple conversation about my great-grandmother’s life growing up as a daughter of a Baptist missionary. There were things I didn’t know about her, things she’d never told be or I’d never asked her, or knew to ask.

For so many years, I only thought of her as my great-grandmother and here was this woman who had lived a life I knew very little about.

Why is this important?

I bring it up because today (September 7^th) is Grandparents Day and I want you to ask yourself what do you know about your grandparents or your parents for that matter?

Do you know what their favorite color is?

The first movie they saw?

What were they doing the day Kennedy was killed? Or the men walked on the moon?

Who was  their first crush?

Did they or do they have a favorite candy?

Is there a moment in their lives that they most cherish? Why?

What’s their favorite song? Why?

I know I am fortunate. I come from a long-line of storytellers. Growing up, I had all four grandparents and two great-grandmothers, all of whom loved to talk about their lives growing up. From stories I discovered the hardships my Danish immigrant great-grandparents went through. My great-grandmother, Minnie, told me of how she survived after becoming a widow with three small children right as the Great Depression hit. My grandmother, Norma, told me how she survived despite being orphaned by age 5 years old and by 16 years old, she’d graduated high school South in the late thirties.

My grandmother, Charlotte, told me of how her grandmother, India, would send Charlotte down to the corner store everyday to purchase snuff and “trashy” romance novels. India would then spend the afternoon on her chaise lounge, doin’ snuff (hey, it’s Texas. Women were tough—still are) and reading paperback romance pieces. Charlotte always talked about how “mortified” she was to have to purchase the books, not the snuff but the books! I’m forever grateful that I heard Charlotte tell me that story because that’s something you have to hear from the source to appreciate.
There are those stories you hear and then those you experience.

I will never forget asking my grandfather one day “What TV shows did you watch growing up?” and his sweet smirk in response. “We didn’t have TV growing up. In fact, there was no TV when I was your age.”
That’s only one of many conversations I had as I slowly began to understand this person, this older person in my life had lead a huge portion of their lives before I was even a flicker in the world.

Even with my family members being talkers, I look back and wish I’d asked so many questions that I simply didn’t know to ask. That memory will forever be lost and I’ll never know little things about them.

Me (age 16y) and my grandfather, Boppa Jack–he’s 89 years now

As I grow older, I understand and appreciate the amazing barriers and changes my grandparents have gone through. Many have gone from living without electricity and no indoor plumbing to seeing a man walk on the moon and now history being made in the run for the White House.

So after all that, ask yourself, what do you know of your grandparents or parents as someone other than your parents or grandparents?

What do you know about the childhood of your grandparents or parents? Their lives before you or your siblings came along and what do you know about them now?

And if you know little about them as people, ask them. If you’re hesitant to do so, remember this:

There is a great line in the movie Don Juan de Marco (if you haven’t seen it—watch it!) where Marlon Brando asks Faye Dunaway “I want to know your dreams and what you want out of life.”

She’s crying and he asks her why and she says “I thought you’d never ask.”

Sometimes people only want to be asked to talk about themselves. You might be surprised how much they will open up when someone is there to listen.
If they’ll allow it, record it per audio or video, if not, take good notes.
Then, one day, when they aren’t around anymore, you might be able to give the gift of seeing or hearing them again or re-reading your notes.

What a beautiful gift that could be for yourself, and more specifically, your children to know who came before them.

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Green – make it your color!

Thai Chicken & Vegetable Curry Recipe.  Jade, chartreuse and emerald may not be the right hue for you, but green beans, spinach and peas will help you look – and feel – great!  Adding just one more serving of daily vegetables, especially vitamin and mineral rich green veggies, is an easy way to achieve a healthier lifestyle.

Celebrate Earth Day April 22nd and go green by eating organic.  Organic foods may contain up to 40% more antioxidants than conventional foods, which will help energize you and your family for an active spring season! You can easily keep a “green pantry” all year long with Del Monte Organic vegetables. Power up your pantry with your favorite nutrient rich organic veggies to make quick, flavorful recipes the entire family will enjoy.

Try this delicious, organic Earth Day recipe from the Just One More For Healthy Living Campaign:
For more great recipes that will help you incorporate more fruit, veggies and lean protein into your family’s diet, or for easy tips on how to power-up your pantry with foods for quick, nutritious meal preparation, visit EatJustOneMore.

Thai Chicken & Vegetable Curry
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Servings: 4

Ingredients
12oz. skinless, boneless chicken breast halves or thighs
1 tsp. curry powder
2 tbsp. oil
1 can (14-1/2oz.) Del Monte® Organic Diced Tomatoes
1 can (14-1/2oz.) Del Monte® Organic Cut Green Beans, drained
1 can (14-1/2oz.) Del Monte® Organic Sliced Carrots, drained
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper
2 cups hot cooked rice

Directions
1.       Cut chicken into three-quarter inch cubes; toss chicken evenly with curry powder
2.       Heat oil in large skillet; add chicken.  Cook and stir over medium-high heat for 3 minutes
3.       Add undrained tomatoes, beans, carrots and crushed red pepper.  Simmer, uncovered, 5 minutes
4.       Serve over rice and sprinkle with 1/4 cup peanuts or toasted coconut, if desired

Be kind to the Earth and your diet and eat Just One More for Healthy Living.

For more great recipes that will help you incorporate more fruit, veggies and lean protein into your family’s diet, visit #EatJustOneMore.

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