Finding the “Me” in Motherhood
By Elizabeth Hurchalla
Finding the “Me” in motherhood! Whether you’re a mom or not, at some point you’ve likely put yourself on the back burner while turning your attention to the needs of those around you. But moms know this feeling better than anyone: With kids, life isn’t only about you anymore. That can be an amazing thing, but if you’re losing yourself in the process of raising a family, it’s time to refocus.
“Women tend to slowly give up more and more of themselves to accommodate their family’s needs,” says Tiffany Howsam, a Los Angeles-based family therapist who specializes in postpartum depression and anxiety. “They think that’s what they’re supposed to do.” Over time, you get so used to focusing on your children that every decision — from what’s for dinner to your next vacation — becomes about pleasing others.
Fortunately, you can take care of your family without losing sight of who you are, says Howsam. Here’s how to find a balance:
1. Take a step back.
Look at your situation from the outside. Are you treating yourself with the same TLC that you devote to your family? If you feel resentful because of your never-ending to-do list, or if you’re always exhausted or can’t remember the last time you did something just for you, you might be spending too much energy on others and not enough on yourself, says Howsam.
2. Set limits.