10 Years, two kids, work, after school practices, a dog, two cats and no time to breathe! I know what it’s like to be in a marriage that sometimes feels like a roommate situation. No one wants their marriage to turn into that stale state of mind, but it’s so darn easy to do. My husband and I both try; we go out on date night, we try to hold hands if we are ever in the same place at the same time, we communicate every day, (mostly about our kids and our schedules) heck we even have sex. You know the kind, where I am tired but know how important it is to have it, so we do. What we don’t do or haven’t done in 10 years is ever “get away” together, just us, no kids, no work, no have to’s. Did I mention JUST US?
Even though we love each other very much, in the day to day monotony, we sometimes don’t like each other. The tolls of resentment start playing in the back of our minds slowly keeping score of who does more or who does what. Why can’t he just………? Why can’t she just…….. ? We forget how to fall in love again yet every relationship needs to fall in love over and over especially as we and our lives grow and change so rapidly.
So let me start by saying how much WORK it was to plan our magical “get-a-way” the one that almost didn’t happen because it was so darn hard to coordinate. Since our anniversary was in the middle of the week and both of our kids are in school, different schools by the way, I had to figure out each kid and their after school sports schedules and rides. One ended up with a friend but I had total guilt because this particular friend has a single mom with three kids already and here comes my 10 year old. ( I didn’t have it in me to ask her to bring her to softball practice, she skipped it ) The other is fifteen so he was going to stay at home but needed rides to and from school and baseball. I literally had to pay our pet sitter to drive him and another family friend brought him home after baseball. Pet-sitters aren’t so easy to find either, nor are they cheap. None the less, it was done! I had figured it out and I now could get a little excited about our 10 year anniversary Get-A-Way!
We went to an unbelievable resort just one hour and fifteen minutes outside of L.A. called Ojai Valley Inn and Spa! I have had so many people tell me amazing things about this place and I couldn’t wait to experience it myself. We were welcomed like no place I had ever been before. The staff, literally blew my mind with their kindness. The valet guy sent us a cheese and wine platter!!! The Valet Guy!! This was just one of the many surprises. We were welcomed with a wine basket, a red-velvet cupcake with a Happy Anniversary note and tour of the resort that was so gorgeous, I just wanted to live there!
I didn’t want this to just be a two day get- a- way, I wanted it to be special and have lasting memories, I mean 10 years is nothing to sneeze at! So I decided to bring beautiful wedding stationary and as we sat together our first early morning on our beautiful patio over looking the tranquil spa sipping our coffee, we wrote our new vows to each other. We had our funny glances at each other and our quiet serious moments but we were having fun! We were taking the time to reflect on each other, remembering what we love about the other, why we fell in love in the first place and why we love each other even more today. We kept our newly written vows a secret until after dinner later that night. During the day, we headed to the pool, the adult pool mind you, NOT the family pool! It was so nice to see my husband floating in the water with NO cell phone, a thing that has become a new appendage on him! We ordered drinks, laughed, relaxed and just focused on each other. Later, the resort set up a romantic dinner at their amazing Maravilla restaurant; rose pedals and all. Food…..AMAZING! The trees outside were all lit up with beautiful hanging lanterns. The much anticipated vows were exchanged. I was so incredibly touched and impressed by my husbands words, a guy who isn’t always the most romantic even wrote a poem! It was a time we didn’t want to end.
The truth is, we did indeed fall in love again! My husband now wants to make this our annual anniversary trip…YAY! Not only because we love this place but because when we take the time to focus on each other and just each other, with no have to’s the fun comes back, the romance comes back and the LOVE comes back! Sometimes, date night just doesn’t cut it!