Jan 20, 2012 at 10:35 am |

Photo Courtesy of Splash News

P Photo Courtesy of Splash News


Read this expert from (Womb With A View) on ‘Keeping it Hot When you are About to Pop’ and let us know if you relate or have any tips on how you stay HOT.


Read this expert from (Womb With A View) on ‘Keeping it Hot When you are About to Pop’ and let us know if you relate or have any tips on how you stay HOT.

Okay, when you are seven months pregnant, making love can look more like a hilarious circus act than an erotic one. Every couple is different; the key is to find and make a connection that’s fun and enjoyable for you both. It may take some time, and it may adjust with your mood—one minute you feel like a sexy bombshell or “mom”-shell and then the next you may be overwhelmed by the many changes in your body and concerns about intercourse impacting the baby. Or maybe you believe your man isn’t interested. Or maybe you’re tired and uncomfortable, and your libido has moved to the next state.   Trust me, there are ways to deal with all of this! The Hot Mom’s Club was established to prove that being a mom and being sexy aren’t mutually exclusive, that you and your family benefit from a mother who not only provides care and comfort but who is also witty, funny, sensual, and confident in her body. Even now, especially now, with “the bump.” But if you’ve stalled out and can’t seem to get back to the fantasizing and fun, remember there are two parts to the equation: one is convincing yourself that you still are a sexy goddess and the other is reminding your man that there’s room for spice with this new you. There’s magic in coming together once you both remember how good your bodies can feel. And there’s a good chance that when you do light the flame, your increased sensitivity will ignite with better (or more) orgasms. Who knew?

SEX AND THE PREGNANT WOMAN” by Wendy l. Walsh, Phd, Author of A conscious woman’s Guide To dating, Mating and relating—for life! (

Okay, ladies, so here’s the scoop on how a bun- in-the-oven just might interruptus your coitus—or not—depending on your body. The thing is this: hormone changes during pregnancy can impact libido in many ways. Some women are randy as can be during gestation (those lucky gals!) and their husbands are in man-heaven. Other women would sooner opt for a root canal than the insertion of their man’s member into their birth canal. To make the picture even more complicated, men may have varied reactions when their, ahem, if I may say, sexy goddess blossoms into a Madonna. And I don’t mean the one who vogues. So let’s take this scenario-by-scenario.

Scenario #1: You want it. He’s afraid he’ll hurt the baby, or break the law, or go to hell.  Dr. Walsh says: Get him the necessary medical information to assuage his fears about safety. Get yourself an empire-waist nightie from Victoria’s Secret, a black lace thong, and a pair of stilettos that will never see pavement. If all else fails, obtain a certificate of permission from his priest or rabbi.

Scenario #2: He wants it. Finds you a babe. You feel like a fat cow and couldn’t possibly. Dr. Walsh says: Close your eyes. Muster all the images you ever had of being slim and raring to go. And, no, it’s not cheating to think of former lovers or movie stars. (Just don’t call out their names.) If your problem is lubrication, try the myriad of commercial lubricants out there. They even sell them in grocery stores now. If The Hot Mom-to-Be Handbook: Womb with a View painful intercourse is an issue, or if you feel dizzy lying on your back, try lying on your side and welcoming him from behind. If all else fails, use the lubricant on him. Remember, girl, corkscrew motion. I know you can be a good hostess.

Scenario #3: Nobody wants it, and you’re afraid you’re growing apart. Dr. Walsh says: There are many forms of intimacy outside of sexual intimacy. Making time to just be together is important. Talking is a great way to maintain closeness. And affection takes on new meaning when both your hands are probing the contours of the little being that’s growing inside. Snuggle in bed with his hands on your tummy, and you’ll know why some people refer to children as “the glue” in a relationship. Above all, know that this is a phase and your sexual relationship will go through many incarnations during the long haul. Keep talking about it to keep it conscious between you both. Scenario #4: You both want it. Nobody’s making it to the office anymore. Dr. Walsh says: Oh, to have such problems. If you want to keep your girlfriends, don’t brag about it. One final note: remember, there is no better way to bring on labor than some nipple stimulation and an earth-shattering orgasm.

Once you hit thirty-nine weeks, girlfriend, my advice is to go for it. Personal disclosure: When I was thirty- nine weeks with my second child, I had no inten-tion to relive the FORTY-TWO-WEEK pregnancy of my first daughter. So, at thirty-nine weeks, on the advice of an obstetrician, we farmed our five-year-old out to friends, ordered some spicy Chinese food, and vowed to knock boots until the sun came up, if that’s what it took. It didn’t take that. A little nipple action, and I was on my way to the greatest orgasm of my life as my water broke simultaneously. Okay, so the bed was a bit messy, but the pleasure and excitement of laboring while loving is a memory I’ll cherish forever.

Bringing your “sexy back”
Who says you have to wait until after the baby arrives to reclaim your sensuality? The first step to rekindling romance is to make sure you view yourself—with all your marvelous, new curves—as a woman who deserves attention. For many women, weight gain can have a huge impact on their self-esteem, and some pregnant mamas have to work harder than others at accepting their bodies. Confidence and lack of inhibition are always attractive to men, so as hard as it may be sometimes, really try and embrace your new figure and sexy curves. Haven’t you ever been in a room where a pregnant woman in full glow has captured all the glances? I can assure you that the men in the room weren’t just appreciating motherhood, that there were some serious looks going on. There’s a certain sensuousness to pregnancy that reminds everyone of the joy of life, so take hold of your own curvy ride and realize your own beauty. As I mentioned before, you can dress up the curves, but don’t just save it for “going out.” Have fun on your nights at home together. In any case, before getting dressed, take a few moments to check out your naked body in a full-length mirror and say the following:
1. This body is truly amazing.
2. Every curve is a sensuous line.
3. My man cannot resist this gorgeous body.
4. I am a sexy Hot Mom goddess.
5.  My breasts would make Pamela Anderson jealous!

The reshape of things
Your body is now changing in so many ways—focus on accentuating those sexy new curves. Your behind my have, um, expanded a bit, but your bosom most certainly has also. Having big boobs was one of my favorite perks of pregnancy. Growing up relatively flat chested, there wasn’t a push bra I hadn’t met. It was so exciting the day I filled out a bra myself without the help of socks or tissues! I felt so womanly and feminine. It was a thrill—sore as they were, you couldn’t catch me complaining! So accentuate and work your new assets! You know what brings out your sexy self. And so does he. Once you light the flares, the mood will shift.

Sharing your body
Once you’ve caught his attention—and believe me, he will notice—then let your man participate in “helping” with your body. Start with a request for a head or foot massage. That’s safe and feels good. Then you can encourage further exploration to the rest of your body. Let him know how good it feels to have him touch you. And you can reciprocate and enjoy. Another fun way to increase intimacy is to let your honey shave your legs—yup, romantic and efficient, especially when your belly is making it a bit more difficult to see. Draw a warm bath and let him lather and shave your legs, turning a tedious task into a fun ritual. Just make sure he knows how to keep a delicate touch on your an- kles. Also, it might be fun to get him to help with an impromptu toenail touch up . . . with the fully truthful excuse that it’s hard to see and reach that little baby toe. There’s other ways to get creative. Turn up the salsa or indipop for some exotic barefoot dancing, letting your curves tease his body. Write a love note with lipstick on your belly (You might want to use a washable ink pen!) Get him to help cook a fabulous meal with you in the kitchen—sharing the work, getting hot, and tasting off of fingertips can be very sexy. Maybe you can recreate one of your early date dinners. Once you see yourself as desirable and able, he’ll sense that passion too, and you’re sure to bring “sexy back.” A few words of caution: my husband had a very tough time getting past the idea that he would somehow hurt the baby if we had sex. Don’t follow my example; jokingly saying “reassuring” things like, “Don’t worry, honey, it’s not that big” does not go over well!

“I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard as trying to have sex in the last trimester.  Sex became a substitute for Thursday night lineup.  It was no longer a way to express our love to one another; it was just a way to get a good laugh without commercial interruptions.” —Joanne Kimes author of Pregnancy Sucks

Rebirthing your relationship Once you’ve awakened your sensual self and kick- started the romance, you’ll feel empowered to make a few bold moves. No longer do you have to worry about getting pregnant, and if you have been “trying” for a while, then intimacy can become fun again, so let yourself enjoy the freedom. Also, I want you to know that this is definitely not just about sex. If you can continue the fun play of intimacy through pregnancy, it will make the post-birth relationship with your partner so much easier. Everyone has ebbs and flows of desire, but the trick to long-lasting couple success is to never let a dry spell go on too long. One secret to keeping your sensual self and relationship in balance is TUA, or Time for Undivided Attention. This does not have to last for epic hours, but it must be a time when you both vow not to do other things. And it can’t mean just plopping down on the couch to watch TV—you must be conscious and involved. Make it about discovery and understanding, sensuality and humor.

Suggestions for mini-escapes:
• Enjoy a leisurely bath or stimulating shower.
• Engage in mutual massage with aromatic oils.
•  Do anything with sensuous, trancelike music: dinner, dancing, and  romancing.
•  Rent your favorite romantic movie and duplicate the kisses.
• Feed each other your favorite foods—blindfolded!
•  Take turns telling each other what’s so special about each other, while
playing strip poker.
•  Look through all your couple photos. Take a journey through your
•  Recreate as much as possible how you met and your initial flirtation: get into the role and let everyone wonder what’s going on with the guy and that hot pregnant chick.

You remember the honeymoon? Well, the rage these days is the “BabyMoon” . . . a time for couples to celebrate and relax on a getaway before the baby arrives. We went away for a weekend to Santa Barbara early on in the third trimester, and if you can make this happen, by all means do. After the baby is born, a half-hour nap together feels like a vacation. Whether it’s a hotel, a spa, a friend’s cabin, a house-sit, or a beach, it doesn’t really matter . . . it’s just time for you to appreciate some peace away from all the ordinary interruptions. Many hotels and resorts now offer BabyMoons as another type of weekend package, with special perks and upgrades for expecting couples. My advice: make it simple so it’s not about anything except you and your honey, relaxation, and the things you mutually enjoy. Just say no to baseball games, dance concerts, steak dinners, or gushy movies—unless you’re both into it!   Okay, a lot of the things you’ll read about in this chapter I didn’t do, but I wish I had. The truth is, I didn’t see myself as sexy when I was pregnant, and that was my biggest mistake. I let my ideas of my old sexy self get in the way of finding power in my new developments. It was my self-esteem during pregnancy—not my cramps or aches—that was the biggest hurdle to regular intimacy. If you can realize that your body and sexuality are not only working but beautiful, you’ll go a long way to keeping your relationship and happiness intact!

Vagina Push-ups: aka kegels
The next time you pee, stop and squeeze midstream. The activity of squeezing and tightening your pelvic muscle is called a Kegel. Kegel exercises are the equivalent of push-ups for your vagina; they help get you in shape “down there,” reinforcing the area for childbirth and preventing you from peeing on yourself every time you sneeze or cough. They also strengthen and tighten your pelvic muscles and area after birth. This is something your hubby will greatly appreciate. Now, I don’t  want to brag or anything, but I happen to be a Kegel professional. This was an activity in which I excelled. It made me feel so accomplished; I could complete two hundred of them a day without even breaking a sweat. They are so simple, and you can literally do them anywhere—at work, grocery shopping, while out to lunch, watching TV, or talking on the phone. In fact, I have been doing them the entire time I have been writing this paragraph!

Sex put The baby into you, and sex is going help get The baby out!
It is said that a natural way to induce labor is, you guessed it, by having sex. Orgasms and nipple stimulation produce oxytocin, which causes the uterus to contact. Semen contains a hormone called prostaglandins (synthetic prostaglandins are given to women to induce labor), which also causes the uterus to contract and the
cervix to soften. As with anything physical, always check with your physician!

Journal—month seven
1.  Write down all the aspects of you that make you a sensual, sexy woman—as you
are right now!
2.  Write a “naughty” story about what you’d like to happen (give a copy to your man).
3.  List all the things that make you feel sensual, smart, and sexy: foods, music,
fabrics, literature, movies, jewelry, creative projects. Keep the list handy.
4.  What’s the most romantic and sexy thing your man has done?

Pregnancy Tips! KEEPING IT HOT WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO POP! Read this expert from (Womb With A View) on ‘Keeping it Hot When you are About to Pop’ and let us know if you relate or have any tips on how you stay HOT. KEEPING IT HOT WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO POP! Read this expert […]