Kick Envy to the Curb
By Lambeth Hochwald
Kick envy to the curb! Your friend drops 15 pounds…and you secretly resent her slim figure. Your coworker gets a big promotion…and you’re not exactly cheering. If this sounds like you, it’s time to overcome your envy and find a way to feel good about yourself.
“We could spend a lifetime researching why some people are more prone to envy than others,” says Carl G. Hindy, PhD, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor in Nashua, N.H. “Childhood and early family experiences may have something to do with this. Recent past experiences, hurts and losses also play a part in how happy you feel for others.”
Try these expert-tested tips to conquer these feelings once and for all.
1: Reframe your mental state.
Being gracious about others’ successes is one of those things that sounds easy, but may not be such a cinch to put into practice. If you’re struggling with this, stop and think of why you may not be jumping for joy when a friend shares good news. “It helps to step back and examine more carefully, more objectively, what you’re thinking,” Hindy says. You may just have had a bad day, which has nothing to do with your friend’s accomplishment.
2: Keep things in perspective.