When it comes to volunteering at school, I’ll admit that I definitely see more mothers do the work instead of fathers. I’m sure it’s not because dads don’t want to volunteer, but because every family’s circumstances are different and more often than not, mothers stay at home more than dads do. We still live in an age in which males make better salaries than females at the work place, and for most couples, you just gotta do what you gotta do to feed and shelter your kids at the end of the day, because that’s what matters the most.
But for stay-at-home dad and freelance writer Serge Bielanko, he thinks it’s time for dads to step up to the plate and help put in the hours in their children’s classrooms. According to Yahoo Parenting, here’s what he writes:
When I look around a 21st-century school and I don’t even see one other dad there — but I see probably 100 moms — it dawns on me that so many cool, modern fathers simply don’t realize the Stone Age stereotypes they’re helping to perpetuate by excusing themselves from the overall experience.
You think those moms aren’t busy? A lot of them work full-time jobs, too. Or if they don’t, maybe they take care of their other young children all day long — the most demanding gig on Earth. Still, there they are volunteering, again and again and again.
For me, probably the worst part about any of this is that most dads, even the very best ones out there, don’t even realize what they’re truly missing out on. The ability for any of us to re-enter the Kingdom of Childhood is pretty much impossible and we all know that. But every now and then there are ways, and volunteering even just once or twice a year is one of them.
Ok dude, but if it were that easy, trust me, everyone would be putting in the time and effort to volunteer at school, but that’s not the way the world works. I consider myself one of the lucky few because I have a job that is flexible enough to allow me to volunteer at my children’s school during business hours. I’m a freelance writer who works on deadlines, but if I had an office job that required me to be at my desk from 9-5, I would almost never be able to make it because let’s face it, what boss gives you that extra time you need to attend all of your kids’ school activities? The chances are incredibly slim.
While I do all of the volunteering, my husband does none but I won’t shame him or pressure him to do so, either. He pulls in well over 50 hours a week at his job, travels out of state 25 percent of the time every month and works hard to provide our family with food, clothing, shelter and money for education. Plus, he has a job with health and dental benefits (something I can’t afford on my own as a freelancer) and we are grateful for that, even though he has to put in a lot of work for it, too. And while he doesn’t have that extra time from Mondays to Fridays, he does take care of our children on the weekends with their sports and extra-curricular activities.
What Serge doesn’t understand is that my husband doesn’t have many choices. If you want to be a responsible parent who not only brings home a paycheck but also works to secure your children’s future by making monthly contributions to our investments along with paying for a really great healthcare program, he’s not going to piss off his boss to make a point about some old-aged stereotype. He has his priorities straight and that’s why the kids and I appreciate and love him.
Regardless of where you work or how much work you put in, we’re parents. WE ARE ALL TIRED. Plus, I know very few mothers and fathers who actually have the luxury that is called time on their hands. My husband helps out everyway he can, even if it’s just reading a bedtime story to the kids at night before having to wake up at 4am the next morning to catch a flight out of town.
How about we just stop pointing out all the things our partners don’t do and instead be grateful for what they do instead? Wouldn’t that be easier?
Serge, it’s great that you have the time to be with your kids because you don’t have a full-time job, but don’t shame my husband for doing his.