22 year old Megan Jayne lives in Colchester, England. She was only 14 when Jayne was diagnosed with anorexia. She was at the sickest point in her disorder!! The only thing that would save her life was hospitalization and force-feeding through a tube.
“Thin would never be thin enough. The eating disorder overcame me so much that I believed it was all that I was and all that I had, I became an empty shell of a girl, still obsessing over whether my stomach was visible through my hospital gown. Thin would never be thin enough. The eating disorder overcame me so much that I believed it was all that I was and all that I had, “I became an empty shell of a girl, still obsessing over whether my stomach was visible through my hospital gown” she told the Daily Mail.
I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. All those thoughts about your body, all those things you hate about yourself – they didn’t spring to life all by themselves. You live in a world that has taught you self hatred so well, and for that you hold no blame. It’s not your fault that this world made you believe that your beauty can be seen in a mirror alone. It’s dazed you with a blur of magazine covers and makeover shows. It’s not your fault that this world tells you to value thin over everything, closing it’s eyes to the people that sends to an early grave. Nobody told you that you don’t exist to look like an empty image of photoshopped ‘perfection’. Nobody told you don’t exist to be looked at. If I could, I’d take you away. I’d put you in a world that teaches the truth – that you exist as so much more than a body. So when you’re struggling, when those thoughts won’t go away, when all the body positivity in the world won’t quiet those voices. Just know that it isn’t your fault. And that somewhere, there’s another world where you can see how beautiful you really are. 💜💙💚🌈🌞
Jayne decided when she was 16 that she needed to get her life back and overcome the disease. As we all know it can not be fixed overnight. Binge-eating mixed with obsessive calorie-counting made it clear that her disorder remained. She realized what needed to change was not how much or little she was eating, but how she perceived her body. Inspired by a body-positive photo she found on the internet, Jayne set up her own Instagram account where she takes photos of herself in all her curvy glory, in an attempt to train herself to love her body as it is and inspire others to do the same. Now, she has over 41,000 followers. Her first post was a bikini selfie, which she agonized over for hours, imagining all the horrible comments people would make. Instead, she received an outpouring of support and love that continues to this day.
”As I started posting more about my eating disorder, my page grew and I received messages telling me I’d helped with people’s recovery and even saved their lives,” she said. “If a picture of my tummy rolls or cellulite being shamelessly embraced can show someone else that their body is worth loving too, then I will post the most tummy-tastic, lumpy-bumpy, thunder-thigh pictures that I can take.”
One day you’ll see. The moments of your life that you’ve missed. The memories that were made to light up your mind with smiles in vivid colour. But instead, they are dull. They were dulled. By a mind that could never truly live in that moment, too consumed by the ever present mirror forcing your reflection to the forefront of your thoughts. You cannot truly live with that mirror, looming over all that you do, and all that you are. One day you’ll see, that it was inside you all along – the power to smash the mirror into pieces too small to ever pierce through your self esteem again. One day you’ll see, that you could have lived unburdened by lies about your worth residing in your reflection. That you could have laughed with your whole body shaking. That you could have devoured every bite without shame. That you could have lived every moment, for yourself. One day, you will see. And I can’t think of a better day than the one you’re living right now. 💜💙💚🌈🌞
Jayne’s photos have helped her appreciate her own figure and help other women!
”Now I see a body that kept me alive, despite all of my efforts against it,” she said.