Ok, I’ll admit it: I’m one of those moms who helps my children with their homework by sometimes doing it for them as well. But I don’t do it all the time, because let’s face it, that Common Core math homework is some TOUGH STUFF and I’m usually more stumped on it than my kids are. But I do try to help them whenever I can and if we’re all at our wits end, yes, I’ll give them the answer. I don’t do it all the time, but sometimes we just have to move on and head to bed.
Now, for Lisa Rene LeClair of ScaryMommy, she says that doing your children’s homework is the worst thing a parent can do. Basically she tells us to ‘cut the shit’ and stop doing the work for our kiddos. Here’s what she writes:
It is counterintuitive to support someone by controlling circumstance, because it only makes things worse. Kids are kids; they are going to make mistakes and color outside the lines. They will argue about doing homework and wait until the last possible second before telling you when it’s due, but the bottom line is that it’s their responsibility to get it done right. I understand the desire to help a child succeed, but giving them the answers is not victory—it’s sad.
When you sign those discharge papers at the hospital after giving birth, there is a great amount of pride in that ink. During the first year, almost everything your baby does requires gentle guidance. They need genuine love and support, and you give it to them unconditionally. But as they grow more independent, they will need you less and less, which can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow. It is a parent’s second-nature to want to finish their child’s sentences when they stumble on a word. We over-simplify math problems to get the desired response and cut them off in mid-sentence to correct a misspelled word, but how does that teach them how to do things on their own?
While I can understand both sides here, and I get it that kids need to do their own work, there are times in which homework can be so out of range for our kids that if feels like it’s been assigned more to me than to them (see: Common Core math!). Plus, being involved is better than not helping them at all. Eventually they will learn to do their work at school or in their rooms but at the end of the day, they will learn. Plus, teachers know within seconds who completed the homework, as do other students. I don’t need my children to be frustrated with their homework after a long day at school and that is why I am there to help in whatever way I can. And even if I do give them the odd answer here and there: so what? Many researchers have said over and over again that homework isn’t even that important to begin with. I’d rather have my kids not deal with more stress than they have to.
Thoughts, Hot Moms?