What Men Really Think
By: Kim MacGregor
The answers were surprising as one man after the next rattled off attributes and qualities they felt made their partner beautiful that didn’t fit with the preconceived ideas we have of men’s perceptions. The men interviewed provided answers that indicated such a sincere understanding and appreciation for a depth of beauty in their partners; it was as if I had written the words on behalf of all women.
I was delighted but skeptical, wondering if perhaps the answers were skewed because the men were being videotaped. So we took our survey online to capture the results of more men, in a more informal and discreet way. By God, the results were exactly the same as the men on the street. The consistency in responses show that men view their partner’s beauty in a much broader and more meaningful way than women believe they do or than women view themselves, in many cases.
Some of the highlights of our findings reveal the qualities men think make a woman beautiful with Caring/Loving in the lead at 71%. Followed by Physical Attractiveness (37%), Smile/Happiness (32%), Inner Beauty (26%), Sense of Humor (26%) and Partnership (21%). Aspects of physical beauty, as listed above, included feminine, skin, beautiful looks and hair. Inner beauty was defined using words like authentic, enthusiasm, glow and beautiful energy. While the term partnership was expanded with words like “there for me”, understanding, and supportive. I got a real sense that these men truly valued the deeper aspects of their wife the way WE hope they would.
Given three options, Inner beauty was reported as the most important aspect of a womans beauty by 51% of men, while 49% chose How she makes you feel when you are with her. Not one man chose her physical appearance.
Our survey also proved what I think we have all known for a long time: that women judge themselves with a more critical eye than their partners do with 82% of men reporting that their wives see more flaws in themselves than they do.
With regard to the whole media issue it appears the majority (87%) of men DO NOT measure their wife/girlfriend against these images. Yet we continue to do it?
Though our survey was small and informal, it has made me observe real life, real people and real relationships differently than the fabrications we constantly immerse ourselves in through TV and print. Men love us for the simple things that we should also love in ourselves, the things we can only truly feel when we just relax and be who we are meant to be, who we innately are understanding, supportive, enthusiastic and glowing.
So give your hubby an extra special heaping of praise and friendship this Father’s Day. It’s simple. It’s free. And it makes you truly beautiful in all the ways that matter.
Kim MacGregor is Co-author with Arline Malakian of Be…a Woman: expressions of life. To see more survey results and view the video of interviews visit be-awoman.com
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