By: Patricia Walters-Fischer RN
Kevin Nealon Yes, You’re Pregnant But What about Me? Kevin Nealon is a man of (so) many (amazing) words. Saturday Night Live (SNL) Alum brought to life (your favorite characters) Subliminal Man and (better) half of the comedy duo Hanz and Franz.
After SNL, Kevin had (Award Worthy) Roles in television and film and now stars with Mary Louise-Parker in the Showtime Original Series Weeds.
Now, Kevin can add author to his list with an hysterical take on becoming a first time father at 53. In his book Yes, You’re Pregnant, But What about Me?, he talks about the stress of assembling a crib (use duct tape), diapers (you can’t reuse disposable ones), and his party-hungry neighbors that keep him awake far past his (9pm) bedtime.
HMC got to talk to him about his book, his son (Gable), and what people now bring him after he performs on stage.
What did you think you knew about being a father that you realized you didn’t know?
I thought I should prepare myself for sleepless nights and frustration. When they happened, I was ready for it. I’m not saying it wasn’t difficult or easy so that wasn’t hard.
Maybe the difficulty of choosing the strollers, I didn’t realize how hard that would be.
What about behavior problems?
Yes, behavior to do with the temper tantrums, but that’s only with my wife.
How about your time?
Oh yeah, that’s a big one. The inability to complete anything was something I wasn’t ready for. You have to drop everything to care for the children so you find out the important things that you can get done during the day and you get what you can done and then multitask the other stuff when you have a spare moment.
Do you plan to use your (fabulous) SNL character subliminal man in your parenting style?
I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe more of a combo of subliminal man and Hanz and Franz, but I don’t want to be the bad guy. I’ll leave that to Arnold (Schwarzenegger who appeared on SNL) be the heavy because I don’t want to be the heavy. I’ll let someone else do that. I want to be the good guy.
Do you feel more stressed or less stressed now that you are a father?
Totally, I feel less stressed overall. I didn’t realize would happen. I’ve slowed my life down in a good way. He’s the most important thing during the day and I’ve slowed down. I’m not running but walking because I push him in the stroller so when he wants to look at the crack in the wall so I look at the crack in the wall.
Have you had any embarrassing dad moments?
Yeah, Gable has never been sick and he’s been on 40 flights since he was born. So I was shooting a movie in New Zealand and we went to Australia. We were walking into an outdoor restaurant and as we were going into a restaurant and I heard someone say “Hey, there’s Kevin Nealon”
Gabe chose that moment to projectile vomit all over me.
We turned around, left the restaurant and went back to change him.
So did they ask for autographs when you came back in?
No, they became disgusted and didn’t ask for autographs.
Maybe you can ward off autograph hounds with poopy diapers?
Hey, that’s great idea. I think I might use that next time.
What were some of your pregnancy cravings?
Susan’s cravings were the hot sauce at Taco Bell. She’d just open the packets and down the hot sauce.
I had the cravings for Old Spice aftershave. I would splash some on my face and a little in my mouth. It doesn’t taste very good. You really can’t cook with Old Spice.
Your co-star on Weeds, Mary-Louise Parker, just adopted a baby girl and has a 9 yo son—what advice did she have for you if any?
You know, when I told her that we were expecting Gabe, she looked at me and her eyes all welled up. It made me realize how much joy I was about to received with the baby. She’s giving nothing in depth, except things like boys will be boys and things like that.
You being on Weeds, it really brings about a social awareness of marijuana—are you going to allow Gable to smoke pot?
I’m going to try keep him away from mind altering substance as long as possible but I may let him smoke the honey rose stuff we smoke on the set.
Has you being on the show made you more popular with your neighbors that throw the late night parties (after 9p)?
Yes it has.
It’s interesting since I’ve been on the show and when I do stand up, people will come up to me and they offer me a joint. I tell them I play a character on a show that smokes pot, but I don’t smoke.
After that, I wondered do people walk up to the actors from the Sopranos with a .38 and offer to go whack someone?
What is some of the advice you’ve gotten on being a parent? The worst?
Just to relax and kids are very resilient and they will grow up.
No real worst advice, except for the breastfeeding. Mainly it’s the guilt when you can’t breastfeed.
During the book, you’re trying to find a way to inflate an air mattress and nothing seems to be working. Did the breast pump really inflate the air mattress?
No it didn’t, but it sucked a little milk out of the mattress though
Yes, You’re Pregnant, But What About Me is available in bookstores.