I’m baaaack. I have emerged from the hazy fog of sleeplessness—the dark and quiet cave of the nursery—long enough to give you this potentially life-saving warning. Take heed all you other newbie moms out there, stumbling around with your eyes half-open, spit-up in your unwashed hair, not knowing what day of the week it is. I cannot stress enough the importance of this little factoid. Rule #1 for new parents: Babies do not, repeat not, drink espresso.
I know, I know. You’re thinking, “But Sarah, who doesn’t enjoy a warm, sweet cup of earthy goodness with hints of spice and Christmas-time?” Four week old babies, that’s who. At four weeks into my new role as “Mom,” call sign “Waaaaaaa,” Avery William Rothschild was making his presence known as the new tiny man of the house. Since his arrival at 4:01 a.m., July 7th, I had not slept (both eyes closed) for longer than 45 minutes, taken a shower that involved things like soap and razors, eaten a meal still warm while sitting in an actual chair, or worn clothes not decorated in some sort of baby bodily fluid. Still Jeff and I had managed to form some semblance of a routine that went something like this: