A few weeks ago, my daughter and I met my husband at his office and headed to lunch. We all look forward to the time together and midday break from our regular routines. I wore my usual uniform: a stretched out t-shirt, the same jeans I wear basically every day, (and by “basically” I mean “literally”) and a bandana to hide my grays.
With my little one on my hip, we set put up shop at a table, wiped down the restaurant’s high chair, and taped down a disposable placemat. Per our usual, I let my hubby have some daddy-daughter time while I went up to the counter to order. As I walked up, I noticed a guy sitting in the corner who looked familiar. Oh right…he looked familiar because our tongues had touched. We dated, sorta. I wouldn’t say he was a boyfriend. And he wasn’t just a random hook-up. A guy I hung out with a few times. What are the kids calling that these days? Yeah, I’ll just say we dated.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure we noticed each other but neither one of us said anything. What was I going to say? “Hey, I remember going out with you a few times and then you suddenly decided to stop calling me and started hooking up with a friend of mine?” Yeah, I don’t think so. But it took me out of myself for a moment. A blast from the pre-mommy, pre-marriage, pre-grays past.
Sure, I’m not gonna lie, the first thing to go through my head was how crappy I looked. I was literally wearing a t-shirt I’ve had since 6th grade. A Universite Paris Sorbonne shirt that had puffy paint letters. We can affectionately call it classic. Yes, I could have looked at the bright side that at least I can still fit into a shirt from the 6th grade, but I didn’t. Instead I felt like I was in 6th grade. Like I was seeing the guy I randomly kissed when we played spin the bottle after Rachel’s Bat Mitzvah. I felt awkward and silly.
I placed my order and returned to my family. And immediately upon looking at my husband singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” to my daughter in the middle of the restaurant, I felt far more comfortable. This made me happy. This brought me back to myself.
Trust me, it’s not like I’ve been pining away for this guy from 10 years ago. It took me about an hour to even remember his last name. (Man, was that killing me.) But it’s just always awkward to see an ex. But as I sat there with my family…even as my daughter threw her food onto the floor, I was happy I was there at that moment.
So, ex-guy I sorta dated, I thank you. I thank you for being at the same restaurant as me, so I could take a step back to reflect on my life and enjoy the little moments.
And yes…it did make me smile that he is now totally gray and about twenty pounds larger.