It has taken a while while I have been sitting back watching the anti-bullying campaign spread and become so overwhelming. So here we are and I think I have seen just about enough. I realize I will be judged and criticized about my point of view but I have recently been running into more and more parents that are feeling the same and I felt it was time for me to speak up just in case you were feeling the same.
I do understand the basis of the campaign and I do believe that bullying is not “good” nor should it be ignored, however what is happening is something that we haven’t quite recognized as the problem just yet. What is happening is that we are raising children with absolutely zero coping skills!
I was raised at the time of Sticks and Stones and I believe that my parents taught me that no one can bother you unless you allow them too. Yes kids can be cruel but part of being a kid is learning all of our social skills that we carry into adulthood (good and bad) and if mommy and daddy are there to coddle us our entire childhood, then how in the world will we learn to cope? Truth is, we can’t!
Parents are coddling their kids and keeping them in this safe protective bubble to their own children’s detriment. It may seem like the loving thing to do while they are so little and innocent, but it truly is harming them. On one side of the coin, the child that is coddled doesn’t ever learn to not let little things bother them. They don’t learn the difference between a big deal and a little deal. They don’t learn to address the person or kid bothering them, instead they learn to run to mommy and daddy to “fix” it for them. As they get older, it continues to the point that when adolescence settles in with hormones flowing freely, god forbid they are teased or taunted on face book. I truly believe this is the cause of the rise in teen suicide as a result of “bullying”. Bullying has always been in our lives, the difference is, we had coping skills that are noticeably missing in kids today. On the other side of the coin, the child that is the “bully” is labeled so early on in life. This is a time where we learn that hurting someone weather verbal or physical is not right, it’s not ok. This becomes a teaching opportunity that teaches compassion. If this child never gets a chance to learn that he/she is just making bad choices without thinking about the consequences but instead gets labeled a Bully, he/she is set up to fail instead of learning to use compassion vs. bullying behavior later in life.
Do I condone “bullying” behavior? Absolutely not. Do I agree with the Anti-Bullying campaign? Yes AND NO! We need to find a happy medium and we need to find it fast! And one last thing……If I hear the word BULLY one more time……..AAAGGGHHH!!